Successful Online Dating: The Four Keys
So, now that you’ve decided to enter the world of online dating, it is now time to set up a solid dating profile. The process of successfully gaining the confidence of someone online enough to consent to meet you in person requires a great deal of finesse. There are basically 4 keys to this process:
- Profile photos
- Profile description
- Match questions
- Icebreaker strategy
(1) Good Dating Profile Pictures
What constitutes a good profile picture generally differs based on sex, but general principles still apply. Namely, you want at least one head shot. One shot of you, your head, and your torso. One shot of you doing things with other people who seem to desire your company. One shot of you doing something that you enjoy and you listed in your profile as an interest, and then one shot of you with your pet to prove that you’re not a psychopath.
While other factors need to be considered when choosing profile photos, like what kind of dating site you’re on, these general guidelines will be effective for all sites.
(2) Good Dating Profile Descriptions
The best dating profiles are those in which the profile writer does not talk about themselves extensively. You can list a handful of characteristics that you think describe you in a nutshell, but even those will be glossed over. What you want to do instead is show us what you are by showing us your personality. I have never read one profile in which someone claimed that they were funny actually be funny in any way. Most of these profiles are remarkably boring, vapid, and humorless, much like the words “I am funny”. Perhaps that’s why they’re funny. It’s sort of funny that they would claim to be funny, and then be totally void of humor. The more I think about it, the funnier it becomes, but the sad fact is, I would still not message them. If you’re witty, show me you’re witty by saying something witty.
Your dating profile, instead of talking about yourself as if you’re an admirable human being, discusses instead some mixture of what you like and what you want. This allows us as potential suitors to get a sense of whether or not we have the same interests and if we’re interested in the same things in terms of dating.
Another common mistake that people make is they come across sounding too negative. Guys who exclaim their distaste for “fatties” are turning off more than just “fatties”. They’re turning off every woman on earth. Girls who indicate their distaste for guys who live in their mom’s basement, come across sounding shrewish, judgmental, and gold diggers. While it’s fine to want a guy who is self-sufficient and has a job, don’t act superior.
(3) Match Questions
Briefly, match questions allow you to go more into depth about personal values, politics, dating style, and sexual compatibility. An algorithm will display all the top matches by percentage. While this is not an exact science, it does have the benefit of actually sorting folks and making the selection process easier, so answer honestly.
(4) Icebreaker Messages
The best dating profiles in the world will not be effective if you come across with a crappy icebreaker message. The trick here is going to be to talk about shared interests, and for guys, never come across as overly familiar. Pet names like “honey” or “baby” are not going to get you a (good) response.